OK so you're gigging now but if you've looked at those flyers on the previous page you might have noticed a common denominator - yes thats right - the gigs are all in London. Here's a hint - if you're playing every week try and do at least one out of the town you live in! even your most committed fans need a break or else THEY should be committed.
BRIGANDAGE NO 6: Richard, dave and John - Happy times!
We used to arrange gigs ourselves but one day a lovely man called EVERTON rang up wanting to be our agent. For once we found someone we liked – he was a MID after all – these were the pre cursors to MODs (look it up it’s a secret history – mainly black kids if I remember rightly – read about them years ago in a book on youth culture by George Melley.) BUT
• If your’e going to do gigs out of town, and the venue is a long way from home, make sure you do more than ONE! It’s a long, long journey to Exeter and back in one day and you may have an accident if not fall asleep at the wheel and end up practically unconscious on the hard shoulder.
• It’s not much closer from london to Manchester and back in one day especially if you’ve got Camden Market to do next morning. Sometimes there isn’t enough speed in the world.
• When hiring a van make sure it’s some kind of people carrier. A Luton van means you’re all dead of hypothermia before you get there.
• On the other hand, if certain members of the band are going to smoke copious amounts of weed and you are drinking brandy for medicinal purposes make sure the van is bigger than a Bedford Rascal! I arrived in Coventry (HAND & HEART pub?) unconscious. Thankfully some very astute punk rockers trained in the way of miraculous medical cures found my emergency gram of speed in my back trouser pocket.
• After all the times our friends, TWISTED NERVE, from Edinburgh had played down south we were finally going to play in Scotland with them then we were going to stay for a few days for a magnificent party – Great I hear you shout that sounds like a plan, even if it is only for one gig YES BUT…
• Before you go on this expedition check a map you southern soft bastards – Scotland is enormous! ABERDEEN IS NOT JUST UP THE ROAD FROM EDINBURGH!
So we've made it to scotland after at least a 12 hour Schlep in our agents very old, tiny car- i think its the day before coz even we couldn't be that stupid.
we're waiting for the hire van but it hasn't been returned on time. We ring the venue - we're going to be late.
The van arrives an hour late - we clamber in, unfortunately there are a lot of dope smokers (not me - my views are quite clear - hashish is a hanging offence, speed a national health requirement.) and a lot of cider comes out.
it isn't only the cider that comes out - a lot of urine does too - we stop so many times that by the time we arrive in Aberdeen its 9.pm and the P.A has been sent home. there's the biggest queue of people i've ever seen and we can't play!
We've come all the way from london and we're NOT PLAYING! sorry to anyone that turned up it wasn't completely our fault. A lesson to be learnt i think.
Obviously agent (love him) is totally unamused coz we don't get paid and takes us all back home to London next day - party missed! what can i say?
